I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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