I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
