Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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