I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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