What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Pooping to opera.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
