At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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