I smell stomach acid.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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