He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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