New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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