I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
