After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize