There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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