My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You don't make any sense
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