i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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