Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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