Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Randomize
