ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
