I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
