So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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