stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize