I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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