Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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