Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FUCK WHALES
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
