I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
