My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
