That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
