maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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