I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
