Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
