your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
