I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
