Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
