I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
