No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
