Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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