told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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