I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize