so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize