I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
