You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
