do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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