I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
