Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize