Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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