I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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