I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
