SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
