No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Life is so much better after having sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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