Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
