are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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