Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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