mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i think i just lost a toe
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
