you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
