Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
