wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
