he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
