She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
