that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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