im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
