I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
