My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
