i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
