I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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