Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
