Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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